I’ve learned that I want what I want…and I want a tattoo.

And I want one that you can see without ducking into a dressing room with me. But I’m hesitant because of the stigma attached to body art. I am female. I am a public educator. I will earn a doctorate within the next several years if things go as I’ve planned. Location is a factor. As for design: I have really strong beliefs, several hobbies, and lots of causes that I support. Suffice it to say that I don’t lack ideas.

Anyway, my question: Tattoos..taboo? (If you answer, please explain in as much detail as possible–either way.)

 

I’ve learned that I make my own bed.

Both figuratively and literally.

Figuratively: It is MY fault that I have taken another graduate course in conjunction with writing my thesis. So, I am extra, extra busy (and stressed, but only on days that end in “y”) this semester. But I made my bed…

Remember what I said about awareness? Well, here goes: I DID THIS TO  MYSELF. All better.

Literally: Now, regardless of whatever time issues I may have created for myself in the morning (I’m usually racing the clock), I must make my own bed just in case some prospective buyers come through the house. So, right before I fly out of the house, I kick my dogs off the bed and I make my own bed. UGH. For some people, the bed making thing is a real issue–especially for my parents’ generation. But really, unless you’re coming in to buy my house, who really gives a flying comforter whether or not I’ve made my bed.

Besides, even potential buyers did see my bed unmade, should that really make a difference? They’re not biddin g on  my homemaker prowess!

I’ve learned that I’m a big fan of awareness.

Found this blog that is pretty interesting. The writer here talks a lot about being productive, training your brain to run a healthy behavior “tape,” etc., etc. Anyway, it’s pretty interesting for its discussions and  explanations of emotions, language, and behavior, among other things. The blog is Chris Crouch’s Blog (not a very imaginitive title, but not worries). Here’s a little blurb on awareness, one of my favorite things. I’m a big believer in the idea that mental health increases exponentially with every pinch of awareness.

“Awareness - You must be aware of the fact that a tape has been activated, is controlling your behavior and is taking you in a direction that is not in your best interest. Here are a few clues that indicate a counterproductive behavioral tape has been activated: You publicly say yes to something but privately would prefer to say no, you publicly say no to something but privately would prefer to say yes, you overreact to a minor or insignificant event, you can’t seem to get closure on an important event, you sense unexplained frustration, restlessness, anger, sadness or fear…in general, something about the situation just doesn’t feel right to you. “

P.S. I always tell my students that Psychology is the class that I’ve used the most in  my practical life. It helps to know what’s going on beneath the surface, I think.

I’ve learned that I’m not the only one who takes pleasure reading seriously!

Okay, admittedly I have been reading a whole lot for graduate school lately…not much time for pleaseure reading. BUT, I am licking my chops thinking about the next book  that I will read. Will it be The Historian? Will it be Gods Behaving Badly? Will it be The Eyre Affair? (Right. That’s cheating because it’s a book that I plan to teach.) Okay, so what will it be, then? Dog Years? Or maybe something by Walter Mosely….The thing is that I miss reading for pleasure. If you, too, are having difficulty making time to read, check out the following list that I found on Ezine Articles. The title of the article is “Finding Time to Read” (by Barbara Winter) and I think the list is priceless. How many of these things do you do to provide for quality reading time?

Per Barbara Winter, “1. Carry a book with you at all times.”

My comment: I do this! In fact, I drove the ladies in Nortstrom crazy when my husband and I were shopping for my birthday present! We invested (I’m afraid to say) in a purse that is just perfect for my obsession with books! 

Winter “2. Eliminate something else that takes your time.”

Me: I rarely watch television anymore. Plus, I avoid laundry and other chores whenever I can:) 

Winter “3. Listen to audiobooks.”

Me: Sorry folks. No can do. My minds wanders. I need the ACT of reading to keep me focused.

Winter “4. Travel by public transportation. “

Me: Don’t really have that option, but I read when my husband’s at the wheel!

Winter “5. Wear your iPod. “

Me: My IPod hurts my ears. Not an issue, anyway, since I can’t listen to books.

Winter, “6. Don’t finish books that you don’t enjoy. “

Me: Not sure about this. It feels like abandonment to  me. Although…I did recently abandon Eat, Pray, Love.  Thought it was a little bit too preachy.

Winter, “7. Learn to skim.”

Me: How else does one read an 800 page book in on sitting? 

Winter, “8. Have a regular reading time daily.”

Me: I promise I’ll try, but one would have to have a regular schedule for that, no? 

Winter, “9. Make reading a high priority. “

Me: I do. Really. There are few other things I would rather do than sit my butt on the couch and curl up with a good book…or a mediocre book…or even a book for graduate school. Maybe that’s why my chores pile up. Oh, well.

 

p.s. Sorry about the italics…I just can’t seem to get them to go away. Do I look sophistocated?

I’ve learned that fear is the biggest fear of all…

“So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”–FDR

Here’s a link to FDR’s inaugural address. Funny how so man years later, his words ring true to me both personally and as a citizen of the U.S. during what the media calls a recession.

Does anybody else out there think that this so-called recession is a construct of the media? That if we lived out lives (somebody please buy my house so that I can buy another house), the supposed recession will be no more?

Let’s not retreat anymore. Let’s advance!

I’ve learned that students are afraid they are going to “get in trouble” for participating in a class discussion.

Okay, so maybe this is part of the reason we can’t figure things out as a people: we are afraid to talk about anything sensitive. Today, when I opened a class discussion about clumsy comments, racism, and the use of the N-word, my students admitted that they were afraid to speak for fear of getting in trouble. I assured my students that the reason I open such discussions is because I think that a dialogue is one of the ways in which we can navigate and maybe begin to figure out the intracacies of and reasons behind sensitivities, or a lack thereof. Students did begin to open up after that, but the idea that they were afraid to speak up truly befuddles me. Why do students fear trouble in the face of a discussion regarding a sensitive topic? Even if they say something insensitive, I’d much rather it be in forum that is open for discussion over their words, thoughts, ideas, etc.

Now, I did not just bring up the topic out of the blue. We are reading A Lesson Before Dying, by Ernest Gaines, which is about a black man who is falsely accused and convicted of a murder and then executed. The main character is a victim of racism, and the N-word comes up in the book as well. So, rather than gloss over the fact that there are some emotionally charged issues here, I choose to broach the topic of racism. Tomorrow, we are going to have a guest speaker in class who can give us a minority  perspective, and that speaker (an administrator) has already made it clear that he will tell the students that they are free to speak without getting in trouble.

Open communication. I think that’s where we start, no?

I’ve learned that I don’t have another post in me right now.

Nuff said.

I’ve learned that one-sided blogging is no fun.

Is anybody out there? Am I really going to continue to talk to myself but to sound like I’m talking to others? Who are the others? (I know, sounds like a bad episode of Lost.) Bet if I tagged “Lost”  I would get a few hits. But I’m not going to do that because that would be a sick joke to all of those Lost junkies out there. I’ve all but given up the show, mostly for lack of time. Can anybody say “Thursday night class?” I know, I DVR (see how technical I can be?) Lost every week, but I have yet to watch an episode this season. Turns out that I don’t have so much as a spare hour to dedicate to the show. Whatever.

Anyway, I’m even beginning to bore myself. Blah. Blah. Blah. I am afraid to say too much for fear that I’ll somehow put my professional reputation in jeopardy. Like I said, boring.

I don’t want to tag too much and/or to reveal too much about myself (No “lonelybrink15″ here)for fear that some cyber-freak will prey on me. Is that bad? No? Just boring, right?

Boring, like I said, but not boring enough for me to put myself out there to solicit responses. I think I would be better at hitting other people’s blogs and telling people off. (Many popular blogs just seem to piss me off.)

That’s all; I’m done being  boring and writing in isolation for now. (Actually, I think I might have one more post in me tonight.)

I’ve learned how to program my cable box.

Okay, so the other  night, I was watching TV when I realized that I had absolutely NO idea what time it was. I rely on the cable box display for the time when I’m in my living room, but all it told me was what channel I was watching. Who even cares what channel is on?????????????? At any rate, I knew that something was rotten in Techno City, so I decided to explore, what with my regular IT guy (my husband) several states away and of no help at all.

Long story short, I conquered the cable box clock situation with some minor technological out-patient surgery (i.e. some manipulation of menus and settings and such). What? You think I’m nuts. Not all there. Wacky. Goofy. Boring. Stupid? Maybe to you, but to myself I’m a regular living room hero! A technological wizard.

I’ve learned that I’m satisfied with facing, not necessarily conquering, my fears.

I’m afraid of technological exposure, that people will misconstrue, misrepresent, or otherwise misuse my words and pictures. So, what do I do? I blog. Still afraid, yes, but exposing myself electronically one post at a time.

I’m afraid of a car spinning out of control on the drag strip. So, what do I do? I strap on my helmet and race my own truck at Atco Raceway. Deathly afraid to the point of stomach sickness, I faced my fear. But, I have to say that I am still very nervous about losing control. It does not stand to reason that you could spin wheels and take off like a rocket time after time without SOMEBODY losing control. I still fear that the out of control person will be me or the guy racing next to me…or somebody I know…or anybody…I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. Nonetheless, I’ve raced by truck. There.

I’m afraid to take chaperone students anywhere off of school property. So, what do I do? I allow myself to be added to this year’s group of SENIOR FLORIDA TRIP chaperones. All that responsibility!!!!! Yikes, and in this crazy, crazy world. As it turns out, the fear itself was worse than the job. The kids were great…still, there are so many what ifs.

I’m afraid of drowning, of water that is so deep and vast that it literally swallows me up, never to be seen again. So, what do I do? I go deep sea fishing in waters as deep as several hundred feet. Actually, it was on that trip that my husband said, “It would only take six feet of water for you to drown.” Good point. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t imagine my deep water demise when I’m out on the high seas, but I’m much more at ease having faced my fear.

More fears some other day.